A New Day

I apologize for being missing in action a little bit longer than I probably should have. I don't think I ever truly understood what people go through when they go through surgery. Now I get it! You are groggy. You are tired and incoherent for no reason. I have now learnt that I CAN sleep standing up, sitting up, and virtually anywhere!

About the Surgery
Firstly, it took a lot longer than planned. Not only for my own surgery, but for the surgery that took place before me. I was at the hospital ready for action at 7:00am. We checked in and began the waiting process. At about 8:30-9:00 am I was being called in to get started. I was told I could speak to everyone before I officially was put out so I decided to walk forward with the nurse and not look back at the family who was waiting for me probably as nervous as I was if not more!

They walked me down a short hall to 'room' #5 where I got changed, put all my belongings in a bag, and got up on the gurney. There was a lot going on in there. They hooked me up to an IV, made me give a urine sample, and started to attach enough wires to me to make me look like the back of a computer tower. It was interesting because I was there nervous, getting ready for my first time in surgery; whereas, the nurses were carrying on like it was just another day. To them, I'm sure it was. The nurses had a conversation about how a 60 year old woman didn't want to do a urine test because she wasn't pregnant, and she knew that's why they were doing the test...as they made my IV bleed. THIS was going to be a fun day!

I laid there, got a little emotional. Said "cya in a few hours" to everyone who was there supporting me, and proceeded to wait with Ken for about 5 hours. They didn't officially start surgery I was told until about 1:20 pm or after 2! Not sure why but my poor family was waiting for me in the waiting room wondering what the heck was going on. When they took me into the OR I was doing fine. Actually, the whole day I was doing fine. I don't even remember when they knocked me out to be honest. Is it possible I feel asleep before they even knocked me out? My only concern really was if I was going to wake up. Boy was I happy when I did!

Recovery
At like 7 pm, I was back in a 'room' this time recovery watching my family walk towards me. They were smiling and walking down the hall towards me and I never thought I could ever be more happier than at that moment. I only recall seeing my mom and dad and Kenneth. I was told though that both Kenneth's grandma and mom; as well as, my aunt Josie came to see me in recovery as well. I also don't remember some of the conversation that took place but Kenneth filled me in. He said I said, "I'm awake!" and "How is it 7 already?" Everyone told me that I looked good and was talking right out of surgery. That night I ate some ice chips and I went to the bathroom too. So far, so good!

I had the best nurse, nurse Angie, who I will never forget. She's the first person other than my mom or dad that had ever bathed me. Why I bring this up? Well, if you know me, you know I'm not okay with all of that stuff. You almost lose a sense of pride going into surgery. People are putting things all over you and moving your gown however they like and--although this benefits me--are bathing you so you are more comfortable and not stinky. I felt myself grow that day, in many ways. I realized it was okay to let someone help you when you need help. I accepted the fact that some things are really not that big of a deal. I learned that I am such a fighter and so much stronger than I was the day before. Thanks Zia by the way for bringing me my boxing gloves to the match!

They didn't have a bed for me so I stayed in recovery for a lot longer than I should have. Something like 24 hours. It was not that big of a deal though. In fact, it worked out in my benefit because I had nurse Angie to help me with EVERYTHING! I eventually made it up to my own personal room and was treated like a DIVA for the remainder of my stay. If it wasn't nurse Angie, it was Kenneth, if it wasn't Kenneth, it was my parents or another family member. They fussed over me and loved me as much as they possibly could. I truthfully did not want to leave the hospital because there, I had a medical person just around the corner to help me if something bad happened. At home, I would be, on my own in a sense. Although I must admit, some of the nurses some of the time looked like they had no idea what they were doing!

As far as pain goes, I really didn't have that much. I took morphine once that night in recovery and swished this mouth rinse around that was suppose to numb the area. I really didn't feel that either worked so I refrained from taking either of those again. Now I am on Tylenol Codeine which helps make it easier to swallow things. Other than that, I am feeling pretty good. And please be patient if I send you a duplicate email, or do not respond at all. I seriously just pass out mid sentence sometimes.

What next?
I don't know where I stand to be quite honest. I never actually spoke to the doctor about how surgery went, what was done, and what is next. I somewhat got that all from my family within the following 24 hours. They did not want to discuss it with me right after surgery because they saw how happy I was to have made it, they saw how quickly I was recovering, they just couldn't discuss what may seem like a negative thing. Not only that but because I was out of it, I wasn't going to remember what they said anyway. They all decided as a group they would fill me in the next day; March 23.

What I do know: I will need another surgery. How it is going to be done or when is it going to be done, I do not know. They think in 2 to 3 weeks because the surgeon is out of town at the moment. It is going to take a team of surgeons, like 3. I have an appointment with my Surgeon on April 4th to discuss what exactly was done at my surgery etc. So really, I wont have answers until then. What I do know: - As far as they know--this is a common phrase in the medical profession--all the cancer from the tongue has been removed!

- The cancer tumor was 2.5 cm which was smaller than originally stated.
- They removed approximately a third of the tongue.
- The doctors like how it is healing and didn't seem concerned at all.
- The surgeon is not completely satisfied with what he did and wants to therefore, go back in and remove a piece that is left.
- Also, as far as they know, it has not spread anywhere else.

Since this is all I know, this is all I am going to say. Anything else is hearsay. I would appreciate it if people didn't make it seem like they know what's next when I don't even know what's next. I am so thankful for EVERYONE who called, emailed, text, bbmed, etc. to give me their well wishes, thoughts and prayers! I am thankful for EVERYONE who came to the surgery to cheer me on and continue to cheer me on each day! I am thankful for EVERYONE who is positive is conversations and thoughts when it comes to my situation and my well being.

I'm alive. I've been blessed with another day, TODAY, and that's all I can think of!