By the way, anyone who wants to see my tongue and how it is healing email me and after surgery etc. I will send you pictures! It's not really that gross, it's grown on me. *wink wink* I actually told the plastic surgeon today that I don't want them to touch it or reconstruct it because I think it is healing quite well. It may not be as perfect looking as the tongue I was born with but it's perfect for me! The new me!
The appointments that happened today went well. We finished well before the last appointment start time which allowed us to get home and beat the traffic. I felt a little more reassured after talking to the assistant of the surgeon. Just for the record. He looks like he could be an older version or the father of Edward! Yes, that Edward from Twilight (Robert Pattinson)!
Yes, I am nervous about tomorrow. WHO wouldn't be honestly? It's a crazy procedure tomorrow and of course, like any surgery, there are always possibilities of complications. I would absolutely feel so blessed if you would keep me in your prayers tomorrow that the surgery goes well and that the surgeons are awake (hee hee) and ready for me tomorrow! I have to trust in God and his plan for me and that's all I can do.
And a side note. The assistant said to me today, I am lucky that I am young, in good health, and I don't have a 100 ailments like some do on top of the surgery. I'm lucky that I have a family that will be taking care of me when I go home. All of these things help me recover faster and not only that, it made me open my eyes and realize what is going on with me, really ain't that bad. Yes, I'm still sad, but I am trying to remind myself of these words every moment I feel a little bit of self pity.
Thank you so much for all of your support and love now and really, throughout my entire life! I have no intentions of giving up and based on my last surgery and how quickly I am recovering I am feeling confident on what I can do and what my surgeon and his team can do. I did this once already, I can do it again. And I look forward to punching that new notch in my belt.
Lastly, just in case people are wondering why I write so much or why I am so open about my life right now, here are my reasons why:
1) This blog has been one of the best things for me. It has allowed me to connect with so many people in so many places
2) It has allowed me to keep you informed. I love this because I know you care about me and I know those that care about me are curiously waiting and reading this.
3) It has allowed me to get out all of my feelings good and bad and reflect on what I am going through.
4) This is the worst and BEST time of my life. Worst because, um hello, don't need to spell it out. But the best because it has allowed me to open myself up, realize my value, and to see the strength that is within me. I can't believe what I have gone through in 7 weeks. I really am super. I can actually say that! I feel like that moment when Kate Winslet in my favorite movie "The Holiday" finally let's go of her ex Jasper who is dragging her down. I know the situation isn't the same but the feeling when she stands up from the couch and she smiles and has her hands up in the air....THAT is how I feel right at THIS moment!
5) I always wanted to write...even if this is blog is the most public I get, I am happy I took a chance with this and all of the positive feedback I have been given by doing it!
By the way, it totally sucks having the BEST COOK IN THE WORLD for a mother and not being able to eat any of her good food that is making my house smell magical!
Oh, and another thing. I haven't added this person to a blog yet and I want to now. I want to share that my aunt Josie out here in Anaheim has really helped me keep a positive outlook. Since the moment she found out about the cancer, she has made herself available to me for anything and everything. Not even really asked to be a part, just made herself a part! That's how the Italians roll! It's a true story! I know you are nodding your head. She even bought me my first pair of boxing gloves! AND wore them to surgery! Yeah, she's silly! But she has made me feel better and has been a big part of my success like my husband, parents, siblings, in-laws, family and friends who has taken two seconds out of their busy day to send me a kind word!
OKAY, final note! A funny one I might add! I went to buy myself some pajamas for surgery and the remainder of this week. They warned me to wear stuff I can zip up or button up all the way that wont rub against my incisions. Okay, what choices does that leave me with?
MOO MOOS! HA! Yeah, laugh it up!
At least I'm a large again! AND today I fit into a pair of jeans I haven't worn in 5 years! Man, that's reason to smile!
OKAY, really the final note! I am happy that my surgery is just before Easter. I just thought of something and talked to my friend Kim about. Please note, in no way am I making a joke or direct comparison. But think about this. It's the death of the old Ivana, the one with cancer, the one with old ways, thoughts, and behaviors. Pretty soon will be the resurrection of the new Ivana, the cancer-free Ivana!
No comments:
Post a Comment